This is rambly as fuck.
OK, little bit of background: I spent my weekend at a music festival, surrounded by hippies (it was great!). One of the days I had breakfast with some friends, and we were chatting about recreational drugs. A friend of a friend mentioned something about doing drugs that affect serotonin while being on antidepressants, which steered the conversation in that direction. I stayed silent.
The general consensus was that antidepressants are terrible, horrible, no good, very bad drugs. That so often seems to be the case, eh?
I've been on Zoloft for a couple years now. I ran out of my medication on or around the 21st (hoooly shit. Two weeks off meds!?). Since then, I've been experiencing brain zaps, physical and mental fatigue, tiredness, anger, increased depression, irritability, thoughts of self harm and suicide.. the works. This is fairly accurate:
Alexander gets me. I want to punch everything, but I'm too tired for that shit.
Anyway, so this conversation really annoyed me because I feel like, while obviously we need to talk about the negatives, psychiatric medication is so often shit on. I don't like that I have to take pills, but I'm tired of hearing about how the medication that literally saved my life - and I'm not exaggerating - is a horrible thing that I shouldn't be taking.
Zoloft has, so far, prevented me from actively attempting to kill myself.
Zoloft makes me a hell of a lot less irritable and outright angry.
Zoloft gives me a little bit of energy - I didn't really realize just how much of a slug I am until going without.
Zoloft allows my brain some quiet.
Zoloft makes me feel some semblance of "normal".
Zoloft helps me to not react as strongly to things that make me feel sad/mad/suicidal.
So to my breakfast company I say fuck y'all, all y'all, I'm getting my meds refilled today and I'm beyond stoked.